would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
