so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
