So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
