just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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