you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
