I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
