It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you never un-have a 4some
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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