Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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