I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
