Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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