Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

time to smoke my breakfast

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(574): View more from Indiana

Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom

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(775): View more from Nevada

Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall

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(212): View more from New York

what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed

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(651): View more from Minnesota

possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.

(651): View more from Minnesota

also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.

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(618): View more from Illinois

We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.

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