no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize