i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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