oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found your dick twin last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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