I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
