He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
