How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
