k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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