So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
