it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
