Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm fucking your sister right now.

(1-813): View more from Florida

You motherfucker

(813): View more from Florida

She's next.

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(954): View more from Florida

everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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(956): View more from Texas

im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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(317): View more from Indiana

Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.

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(805): View more from California

i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts

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