The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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