Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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