i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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