Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize