Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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