Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
