New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
