You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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