I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
