You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize