You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
