Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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