i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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