He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
