I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
