yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she peed on how many people?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
