i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you win again, gameday.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
