Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
