Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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