KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize