are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the condom got lost in my hair
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
