Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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