Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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