I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
