ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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