I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
