I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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