Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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