She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
