The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
