is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
