I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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