Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
