do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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