my mouth tastes like poor choices
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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